Gratification vs Fulfillment
In our modern history, there has never been a time when so many of us have been pushed into introspection with all the coronavirus quarantine measures happening around the world.
With most people at home and outside of their normal routine, I know a lot of them are wondering whether they want to continue life the same way or not. For me, it has been the perfect time to design a better future for myself. Like Dr. Joe Dispenza points out, the best way to create your future is to design it.
With that in mind, I see two main roads we walk on every day. Of course these roads are not exclusive from one another, and most of us walk along grey areas where we are learning and growing.
Gratification vs Fulfillment
I’m almost certain I first heard these terms listening to the motivational speaker Sean Stephenson. What we see in gratification as a road in life is pleasure now, pain later. Fulfillment, on the other end, is pain now but pleasure later. Gratification as you’ll se is a short term vision, while fulfillment is a long term one. Of course none of us are going to be on one extreme or the other, most of us walk at some intersection between these two roads. The main idea though, is to constantly grow and come closer to the road to fulfillment.
External vs Internal
People that gravitate towards gratification will tend to be more external, or live in the outside world more as a way to seek happiness. The fulfillment road allows you to seek satisfaction internally.
Consumers vs Investors
People that seek gratification will tend to be more materialistic and purchase products to fill their immediate needs. People seeking fulfillment will be more frugal and minimalists. They’ll purchase things that add value to their lives, are wiser about their spending habits.
Unlimited Spending vs Budgets And Pension Plans
Gratification leads to unlimited spending, while fulfillment leads to budget and spending limits. They will also put pension plans in place so that they can experience abundance towards the end of their lives. This is why gratification will make sense in the short run, but fulfillment will make sense in the long run.
Viewing Happiness As An Outside In Job vs Happiness As An Inside Out Job
When you live in the world of gratification, you seek to fulfill happiness outside, and will constantly be looking for someone, something or some circumstance to make you feel happy. Happiness on the way to fulfillment requires you to realize that you don’t need an external circumstance, someone or something to make you happy. You can experience happiness inside right now, and when you experience it your outside world will start to align to this reality.
Living In The Past vs Living In The Present
Most people in life tend to live in the familiar past, or the predictable future. Living in the past anchors you to the same patterns and behaviors you’ve had all your life. Nothing new will come out of these patterns and behaviors, which will create a very predictable future for you too. When you seek fulfillment you realize that regardless of your external conditions, living in the present moment will lead you to feeling fulfilled. This is a skill that takes time to master, but well worth it when you do.
Viewing The Future As Predetermined vs Being The Designer Of Your Future
People on the road to gratification will feel victims to their circumstances, their environment and will feel their future has been determined already. Someone did something to them, they were born that way, etc. On the road to fulfillment, you’ll see people that believe they are the designers of their own future. When you design your future you are indeed tapping into the universe of possibilities and materializing the one that aligns with your wishes and desires.
Newtonian Physics vs Quantum Physics
Newton was an amazing scientist. He truly propelled our evolution in the three dimensional world like few other scientists. However, we now know that his laws are only a small part of the laws of the universe. This is why more and more scientists are turning their heads towards the universe of possibilities known by many as the quantum field. Think of it as an invisible web or field that surrounds us all and connects us to everything and everyone around us.
Destiny Is Determined Already Mentality vs I Am The Driver Of My Own Destiny Mentality
Most people will feel powerless and like they cannot change their destiny, while people seeking fulfillment will realize that they are the ultimate drivers of their own destiny.
Co-dependent Relationships vs Interdependent Relationships
People that are on the road to gratification will typically seek co-dependent relationships while people seeking fulfillment will seek interdependence, allowing and helping each other to grow. Through this process they’ll become conscious co-creators and the sky will be the limit!
Two Halves vs Two Wholes
Relationships on the road to gratification will fall under the false idea that two incomplete people can complete each other. This is Hollywood’s idea of the better half. When seeking fulfillment, each person must first become whole so they can complement each other and grow exponentially.
Power And Control vs Love, Growth And Understanding
Power, control, envy, are all lower vibrational frequencies. This is why people seeking gratification will seek power and control over every situation. People seeking fulfillment will raise their vibrational frequencies to love, compassion, gratitude, and this will allow them to keep growing in the beautiful path of life.
Separation vs Unity
Most people on this earth feel we are separate from one another. As quantum physics experiments suggest, we are all connected by the invisible forces of the universe.
Network vs Community
Schools and workplaces are perfect examples of networks. You know the people around them but in reality you are not connecting with most of them. Communities help each other, know each other and care for the common good.
Multiple Personas (Personalities) vs One Persona (Personality)
Because people that seek gratification feel separate, they will communicate differently to different people. Eventually this will lead them to manifesting different personas depending on who they’re communicating with someone else. Think about this. You don’t speak the same way to your children, to your parents, your spouse, and your parents. The more you do this, the more it will consume resources and energy to keep up with those appearances. People who say how they feel and are true to who they really are seek fulfillment instead.
Lack Of Energy vs More Energy
Because of the multiple personas that people tend to develop, their energy will be drawn towards keeping up with those appearances. People who are fulfilled are likely to have more energy throughout their day, because it is not necessary to keep up with appearances.
Hidden Agendas vs Being Transparent And Having Clear Vision And Goals
Because of the different personalities, people living on the road to gratification will have hidden agendas behind your back, while people seeking fulfillment will tend to be more transparent and have clear vision and goals they can focus on.
Conflict, Competition and War vs Communication, Cooperation, and Peace
Additionally, gratification invites conflict, competition and ultimately war despite the fact that it has never brought us anything positive in the long run. Communication, cooperation and ultimately peace should be the focus of mankind and the way to fulfillment.
Fear Parenting vs Conscious Parenting
Most parents will not spend time learning to be parents, and this will deliver the same system of parenting we’ve seen for generations. Some parents are starting to wake up though, and realize that in order to help children grow they must accept the challenge to grow themselves. Dr. Shefali and Becky Bailey are two of my favorite authors and lecturers on this topic of understanding the principle that attempting to control children is not likely to render positive results when it comes to their emotional development.
What If You’re On One Road And A Loved One Is Not?
This was a question in my heart for a very long time and recently I’ve been able to answer this myself. What happens if you’re on the road to fulfillment, growing every day but your partner or loved one isn’t? The short answer to this is you can never force someone to grow with you. You can only become a better you every day. If that person is open to traveling a new road, then that’s a different story, but we all grow at our own pace and in our own time. So this will always lead to tough choices you have to make along the way.
Make sure to download the PDF with the most important pointers on this article and sharing is caring!!!
So, which of this elements do you feel we are missing the most as a species and is not allowing us to evolve?